Trust and Mistrust Can you imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t trust anybody and nobody trusted you?
Being trustworthy gains respect from other individuals and enables them to form deeper friendships with you.
In the dictionary Trust means ‘to believe’ and to have honesty about someone. The opposite of Trust is Mistrust and this is ‘to have doubts about the honesty and abilities of someone.
Can you imagine if you went to work everyday without trusting you would be paid? Or agreeing to marry someone without believing they would turn up at the alter? If you are a sportsperson, could you imagine not trusting your team-mates? Being able to live and operate everyday is a matter of trust, trust bonds almost everything we do, and we don’t only need to have trust in other people, but we must trust ourselves.
Having confidence in ourselves is vitally important, when we can trust ourselves we will become trusted by other people and we will learn to reciprocate and trust them too.
We are all born with a certain amount of confidence in ourselves, but we are all born with a lot of trust in others.
It is unfortunate that the society that we live in today has become burdened by situations where we cannot afford to trust everyone, because there will always be someone who takes advantage. Children have to be taught not to trust a stranger for fear of what may happen, people can become conditioned not to trust politicians and many are wary of the media – trust might be our birthright but the abuse of the power that trust gives people means that very often the automatic trust level that we are born with can become something that we are very wary to give, and not giving trust affects the way people trust or mistrust us.
Trusting someone is a gift, but it is a gift that brings with it vulnerability. What if you trust someone, and they defy your trust and cause you upset or even pain, can you go onto trust another?
A relationship is built on the cornerstone of trust, if you can trust your partner and they trust you, you will rightfully feel fulfilled and have that sense of reliability. But what happens if the trust is broken, and your partner leaves you for another, could you ever trust again? Well, if you are to be happy then you must do. So often people in broken relationships refrain from meeting new partners because they have been hurt before, not allowing themselves to trust again and at the same time they are restricting themselves from the very pleasures that made them become involved in the first place.
It can be difficult to let go of the paranoia and fear that if you have been hurt before then it will happen again. It may not be easy but finding that trustworthy company, or partner, or car garage is a worthy exercise, for that security of being in a trusting transaction will help to renew your trust in human nature.
There are some things that you can do to help rebuild your own trust level.
1) Behave in the way you would expect others to behave towards you. Be honest with yourself and other people, be generous where you can afford to be and act sincerely. There is much truth in the saying that ‘ye reap what ye sew’ and you will attract honest trustworthy people if you behave in an honest and trustworthy fashion.
2) You are in control of your own decisions, learn to trust your instincts and consider your first impressions of a situation, you will often find that your gut feeling serves you well. Don’t rush into any decisions, take the time to consider the options that face you and get as much information as you can before you press the red button.
3) Just because you have had bad situations in the past, don’t tar everyone with the same brush. It is fine to be mindful of problems you have had in the past and to notice any signs that someone is not respecting your trust, but try to give people the benefit of the doubt and offer your trust with a smile and you may just find that the warmth you feel when it is reciprocated re-instils your faith in the honesty of humanity.
Without trust you may find yourself lonely and it is important to develop a rounded view in whatever situation you may face, and remember to always learn from the past but do not dwell in the past because each person and situation you face could be very different from the last.
For more information on Friendships, visit the Friendship page.